不周山:“墙”外边的世界

作者:不周山  来源:一五一十部落

(附图为世界网络带宽分布示意)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

华尔街日报说,很多中国网民纷纷表示要“翻墙”。

推特儿上也一片群情激昂。

网友来信,“翻墙”成功喜欲狂。

可是,“墙”外边的世界,一点也不精彩,一点也不会令你血脉贲张。

真的。

在 “墙”的那边,羊佳一定还好好的,每天在监狱的健身房里消磨时间。一边看着日渐增长的二头肌,一边听着律师汇报情况。羊妈从来不用上房,更不会去安康医 院,也就隔三差五上上镜头,道道母子情深,消停着呢。没有神秘人物,没有秘密审判,法庭随便旁听,没有内幕可写,随时随地即时新闻转播。网民群众一点想象 空间都没有,博客没法成名,够无聊!

在“墙”的那边,潘蓉早就笨到一加一都数不清楚了,哪里还有做莫洛托夫鸡尾酒的智力。 唐福珍坐在家里打打电话就行了,永远也不会有把自己变成火球的念头。要拆房?一纸诉状可以一直告到国家最高法院。侵犯私产不合理赔偿,那可是直接违反宪法 第五修正案的弥天大罪一桩,一堆的律师抢着接你的案子。事事按部就班,走着法律程序,普通民事纠纷,悬念一点没有。

在“墙 ”的那边,《民主细节》这样的书送都送不出去,更别说连续翻印上八九十来次,外加一堆名人推荐。也就只剩下图书馆可以试一试。嗯,洛克的书可以收藏一些做 经典,谁叫人家是大牛呢。谁是撞克?没听说过,什么烂七八糟的,这书里哪一件事不是理所应当的?唉,墙外头学政治的作者要找个能畅销的主题,难着呢!炒 作,呵呵,省省吧!

在“墙”的那边,你可以随意作弄最高统帅,可别想激起啥跨省追捕风暴。Youtube 上把巴马老大直接换成希特勒的视频不知道成千上万。周末娱乐电视里,巴马、拉里都是命苦的主儿,连一点床底之私都被揭得干干净净。群众看得太多,笑都笑不 出来。可一直也没听说谁被王朝、马汉拿了,政府反应太迟钝,法院想要做一点诽谤煽动的案子,有点作为,没机会呀。

在“墙” 的那边,老虎庙一定是一位成功的民俗文化学者,哪有那么多的“流民”让他去悲天悯人呢,老王小张早就吃着残疾人福利了。哪有那么多上房的等着他给找梯子。 想打悲情牌,再想想吧。公民记者完全没有生存的空间,到处都有专业记者盯着,哪里轮得到博客作家发新闻。没有通搞,各发个的消息,闲杂人等想要一朝成名, 可能性真的很小。

在“墙”的那边,你可以在学校里讲正动的理论,也可以讲反动的学说,可以宣称自己是左中右派,五颜六色,系主任无权过问,也绝不会有学生去公安局报告,说你传播反动思想。爱听的来,不爱听的走人。想借这条道儿成名,搞点儿校园事件,成为社会名人,想都别想。

在 “墙”的那边,你爱上啥网,谁在乎?没人把你送去戒除网瘾,一击毙命,让你成为新闻头条。发帖灌水一点也没有意思,冷冷清清,因为没有纠正你错误言论的阿 毛。那边政府太穷,没有该项开支雇人指引航向,更不会花钱给你认个新爸爸,美的你。闾丘们也办不起啥子部落,谁爱说啥就说,不需要那样一个话筒。

在 “墙”的那边,政府的职位最不招人待见,多数年轻人想都不会想。千万别信电影里的靓男靓女,其实都是些老头老太太打发日子。穷得买不起地,盖不起楼,更别 提福利分房了。预算都要公开,工资都要公开,整天屁大一点事都要交代清楚,一点钓鱼钩车的权力都没有。一声油价要调整,天上往下掉飞机,早就成了东方异域 的不朽传奇。

说来说去一句话,为了让您的血液持续沸腾,精神永久亢奋,请拒绝翻墙。


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